“Mmmm, lovely”

H=S+C+V

According to Martin Seligman, the renowned American psychologist, there is a simple formula behind happiness where a person’s happiness (H) is the sum of their genetic capacity to be happy (S), their circumstances (C), and factors that are under their voluntary control (V). There is a grand explanation of how this has been worked out from many years of exploration into human happiness.

This is all well and good but I think sometimes happiness boils down to something as simple as a Homemade Lemony Biscuit.

Let Me Explain

A few days ago I was looking at my wife who suffers from arthritis. She was obviously in great discomfort. From experience I knew that she would dismiss any enquiry from me as to her wellbeing with a nonchalant “Yeah, OK”. So I set about thinking of a way to cheer her up.

After a while, I don’t know why, I suddenly thought about the lemon biscuits she used to buy for herself from the supermarket. She would always let out an “Mmmm” and have a little smile on her face when she ate them and I was sometimes offered the privilege of eating one myself. I knew that she had had difficulty finding them of late because the supermarkets didn’t seem to stock them anymore.

“That’s it” I thought “I’ll make some tomorrow and have them ready for when she returns home from work”.

This I did and held my breath in anticipation as she took her first bite out of the one she chose from the tin I presented to her. “Mmmm”, the familiar sound came and a smile spread across her face. “Lovely”, she said, “just as good as the bought ones”. It had worked, in that brief moment I had given her a taste of happiness and over the next couple of days, as she ate each one, I enjoyed watching and listening to her reaction.

Can a Biscuit Really Make You Happy?

It wasn’t only my wife who derived a bit of happiness from those Homemade Lemony Biscuits. I also found my mood was lifted as a result of knowing that I had done something, albeit very simple, to give her pleasure.

I began to think about what had gone into those biscuits that had made them the catalyst for these feelings and not just about the actual ingredients which, after all, were just flour, sugar, butter, egg yolk, lemon rind and juice.

Compassion for my wife in her distress due to ill health, gratitude for her love for me and our family, selflessness in the act of doing something for someone else just because I wanted to, forgiveness for not being honest and letting me know how her illness is affecting her, love for her with every ounce of my being poured in with each ingredient. There was genuine feeling, positive emotion and an altruistic attitude influencing the outcome. Compassion, gratitude, selflessness and love, so I am told, are some of the basic ingredients for achieving happiness.

Having suffered from recurring depression for many years and undergoing talking therapies, stress control exercises, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and counselling, I suddenly had an understanding of the psychology behind it all and it wasn’t as complicated as I had previously made it. Happiness is not something to be strived for or searched for externally, it is already within us we just need to turn the key and unlock the door it is hiding behind. The key is wanting to.

So you see whether or not we have the capacity to be happy or our circumstances help or hinder us or we are able to voluntarily control certain factors, happiness IS a Homemade Lemony Biscuit.

Advice on Real Life Bullies and Internet Bullies

I decided to write this article on real life bullies and Internet bullies for one very important reason, the reason being with all the hoopla going on at the present time concerning kids being bullied in school and Internet bullying on the rise globally, I became acutely aware of a very embarrassing fact.

I was a bully myself when I was a child and figuring that out has truly humbled me. It has also made me realize that I owe a very deep, heartfelt apology to my younger sister, Dorea.

WHY DO BULLIES EXIST?

As I have pondered this question for the past few days, I’ve come up
with my own set of answers and I hope that by sharing them, I can shed
some light on the reasons for bullying. Understanding why people bully
is just as important as understanding how to make it stop.

I
did not intend to become a bully. I actually have never been a bully
to anyone else in my life, before or since but for many reasons,
bullying my younger sister
just ‘evolved’. Why? Because in my mind I was found lacking on a
daily basis by the people that meant the most to me and who were my role
models. I could not ever perform or come up to the standards that they
set for me to be ‘perfect’ whereas my little sister Dorea was about as
perfect as a child could get – simply because she never got into trouble
and she was always quiet.

See all 3 photos
Source: Flickr

I think that bullying results from someone not feeling good about
themselves, as studies have shown, but it also goes beyond that to the
emotional state of the person who is the bully. In my own case, I can
see now that I felt picked on and picked at constantly, left out,
reprimanded for even the slightest infraction and never given the
benefit of the doubt. To compensate for that, I followed the natural
pattern of making my problems flow downhill to the next person in line,
who unfortunately happened to be my sister.

I don’t
think I even consciously targeted her for my outrage at my own
situation. Nor did I mean to cause her distress by trying to intimidate
or scare her all the time. My bullying came mostly in the form of
trying to get my way every single time and in every situation. I was
after all 3-1/2 years older than she was and if I was left in charge of
her (which I sadly often was), I decided what the protocol was going to
be or at least I tried to bend her to my ‘rule’.

I
also terrorized her by scaring the living daylights out of her as often
as I possibly could. Why? Because I spent most of MY childhood being
afraid; afraid of my grandmother’s schizophrenic violent rages and the
constant fighting and violence that I was exposed to. In my mind I
think I just wanted to pay someone back and because I couldn’t pay back
my mother or grandmother, I paid back my sister. After all, she was the
quiet one and she was never in trouble, so didn’t she deserve some of
the ‘gravy’ of misery, too?

I realize now that of
course this was all terribly convoluted and that if anyone had bothered
to stop and examine the patterns going on within our family, it might
all have been different. But here’s the deal – nowadays we should be
able to do that. It’s not the 1950’s or 1960’s anymore and most people
have viable access to counseling in some form or another which I have no
doubt would uncover these kinds of problems and nip them in the bud
before causing permanent damage – to either the bully or the bullied!

I
can only say that I am dreadfully ashamed of my behavior for whatever
reason I developed it. As I say, I never bullied another person in the
world or thought to do so. But somehow I missed the boat where Dorea
was concerned and heaped fear and anxiety on her when I should have been
more sisterly. Even though I defended her all the times to other, I
willingly decided to take out my frustrations on her myself!

I
realize that siblings fuss and fight because I raised 3 of my own
children. But this went beyond ‘normal’ behavior and I know it in my
own heart. I have to say I regret causing someone that much grief and
for what’s it worth, at least I’ve had the opportunity to apologize.

Bully Dog Tuner 40415 Triple Dog GT Gas Gauge/Tuner
Current Bid: $314.99
Bullying Beyond the Schoolyard: Preventing and Responding to Cyberbullying
Amazon Price: $20.00
List Price: $39.95
Bullying, the Internet, and You
Amazon Price: $106.85
List Price: $129.95

Signs and Symptoms of Bullying

Bullying is such a huge issue right now with so many suicides occurring.  It’s important to look for the telltale signs of someone being bullied or to look for those who are turning into bullies, whether it’s a child or an adult.

Internet bullying or cyberbullying is also going on at an alarming rate globally and likewise, there are red flags to look for whether you personally are a victim, if you have a child who is being bullied or you know of someone being bullied. 

Much more importantly, I urge you to look at yourself and decide within yourself if you are a bully or are displaying bullying tactics to make yourself feel better!

Bullying Profile

Swagger, whether real life or attitude – usually a facade as they do not really feel that great about themselves at all
Insecurities although once again, these may be masked by a pretense of self-assured behavior
Extreme competitiveness
Conformity – the person has to fit in or be liked by all to be successful
Perfectionism can sometimes be a cardinal symptom
Concrete thinking – things must be done a certain way

Victim Profile

People pleaser
Someone who is more apt to be withdrawn or keep to themselves
Usually hides their talents and does not want anyone to notice them or their talents
Tend to be more of a so called ‘geek’ personality, not outgoing or team player persona
The person who never complains or steps outside the ‘lines’

While these attributes may seem very oversimplified, and people can certainly cross over and be a bully and a victim as well, you get the picture. In order for bullying to be a success, you have to make the other person feel bullied and subject to your will or there is no bullying.

So how to stop the patterns? As I stated above, counseling on any level, even talking things out instead of ignoring them is a great way to curb the urge for a bully to try and overpower someone else. Understanding behavior is the key to fixing behavior or channeling certain personality traits into appropriate venues.

Speaking up and defending yourself is another great way to stop bullies. I don’t mean physically although in some situations, fighting back is an effective tool. I unfortunately never found this particular tool beneficial because I didn’t know how to fight effectively and the people that bullied me always got away with it. However, because my sister did not stand up to me, I was able to bully her to the extent that I did, knowing that she would not fight back or stand her ground.

Confiding in appropriate people in charge is also a sure-fire way to get to the bottom of the matter and discover why someone is resorting to bullying or why a person is allowing themselves to be bullied. Many children are afraid to ‘rat on’ someone for making them feel uncomfortable but alarmingly, so are many adults!

People tolerate Internet bullying every day and never say a word to the perpetrator nor do they report the matter to the website for instance. Reporting someone goes a long way to stopping Internet bullying before it gets out of hand, whether it is on Facebook or it is here on Hubpages.

I believe in reporting people who ‘hide’ behind their computer screen and say harsh or degrading things to others. There is always a way to say something that will ‘do no harm’ and I believe if you wouldn’t say certain things to someone face-to-face, then you shouldn’t be writing those things to someone on the Internet. Simple fix.

In the case of severe bullying or stalking, whether it’s by groups of people or an individual, sometimes drastic measures have to be employed. My visually handicapped son was harassed in junior high school because of his appearance. He was finally beaten up by 6 fellow students who jumped him outside a fast food restaurant, blindsided him literally and beat him until his prosthetic tooth was knocked loose and his face was covered in bruises. It was horrifying to say the least but especially cruel because they chose to hit him repeatedly in the face.

My son didn’t want to report it because he was afraid of further retaliation but when he was taken to the emergency room, the choice was no longer his. The police became involved and the kids were prosecuted. They were also expelled from school. It illustrates that there are consequences for bullying and hopefully those boys got the message that there were more appropriate ways to handle themselves.

Most important in the above illustration was that the school was made aware of this problem, albeit a little too late for my son, and the authorities were also involved. The boys had to go to court and were also assigned a debt that they had to pay off with regards to our son’s medical bills. It was a pittance amount, however, I have always hoped that lessons were learned.

In more severe cases of Internet bullying and real life bullying, people change their email address, phone numbers, even their address. This is the worst case scenario but it goes to illustrate what can happen when bullying on any level goes too far. 

See all 3 photos
Source: Flickr

Advice on Real Life Bullies and Internet Bullies

I believe the goal in life should be equality and even though this may sound simplistic or like the impossible dream, thinking of that concept erases the very idea of bullying because if one is manipulating someone else, there is no equality.  There is only fear and submission when someone is being bent against their will to do another’s bidding.

No matter what the reasons that a person does become a bully, it still has a deleterious effect on another person and in my own case, I’m profoundly humbled by the knowledge that I picked on someone I truly loved.  My apologies cannot change the past of course but I only hope that in relaying my story of becoming a bully whether inadvertantly or not gives others some insight into the effects that these situations can have on both parties – the bullied and the bully. 

The last thing a person needs is another albatross around his or her neck.  I have many scars from my own childhood but the last thing I ever wanted to do if I thought about it rationally was to inflict scars on anyone else.  However, somehow I managed to take out my anxiety on someone weaker than I was and make my problem her problem.  For whatever reasons I did it, the fact remains that I did it and the guilt is mine. 

In today’s fast-paced world and with all the techno savvy possibilities out there, we need to learn tolerance most of all and we need to learn kindness all over again.  We never know what kind of personal battles anyone is fighting or what their individual mental state is and I think keeping that in mind at all times is the first step in obliterating bullying from society as a whole.  There will always be stronger personalities and weaker personalities but I believe there is no room for bullies and we should all work hard together to stop the cancerous spread of superiority and rudeness to others. 

Happiness is something we all seek and I think it’s attainable as long as we remember that is the universal goal and that we don’t deserve it more than the next guy.  More importantly, we don’t deserve it at the expense of someone else. 

See all 3 photos
Source: Audrey Kirchner
Take the Bully by the Horns: Stop Unethical, Uncooperative, or Unpleasant People from Running and Ruining Your Life
Amazon Price: $7.89
List Price: $16.99
The Bully Effect [HD]
Amazon Price: $0.00

Cyberbullying News Report

Bully: Scholarship Edition [Online Game Code]
Amazon Price: $14.99
Bully
Amazon Price: $9.96
List Price: $17.99

See all 2 photos

How to be happy

“Satire is always as sterile as it is shameful and as impotent as it is insolent”

– Oscar Wilde –

How to be Happy
When people are asked what they would like out of life, most say their aim is just to be happy. At first this goal might seem unpretentious, humble even, yet in reality happiness is difficult to pin down.
How to be Happy – a Human Right?
Happiness sounds like it ought to be a basic human right… Yet is it? Establishing the conditions to be happy are elusive, especially when you understand that happiness is actually not a normal state. Happiness occupies the highest attainable position on the graph of emotions, where contentment floats somewhere around the middle and gloom wallows at the bottom.

.

Finding happiness

See all 2 photos
Without Reproach by Ellie Jones
Source: Adult Romance

How to be Happy – Contentment

In the real world, instead of happiness, should we really seek contentment and accept that intermittent spells of happiness are a bonus. Perhaps we should recognize that happiness is a temporary state, and should not expect to be happy all the time.
The elusive search for happiness has taken people along many paths. The problem of course, is that each person’s perspective of happiness is unique, for example, children might assure us they will find happiness with sought-after gifts at Christmas, or a beggar a hot meal. Having them might make them happy for a short while, but this is a quick-fix encounter with happiness. The majority of people are searching for happiness that is more durable.

The Breakout
Amazon Price: $2.88
List Price: $9.99
Chief AJ QP & HFX Replacement Super Powerband – “Adult” Black with Nock String & Bow Release
Amazon Price: $16.95
Short Moments: ten short stories (Heartwarming Stories)
Amazon Price: $0.99

How to be Happy – Buddhists.

The Buddhist philosophy is perhaps not far wrong in it‘s approach. They tell followers that to attain happiness they must face their demons, show consideration to friends, be charitable, and must achieve spiritual harmony. Admirable goals to say the least, however, most people need more direct and realistic guidance.
It is important to acknowledge that each and everyone one of us have problems – but it is essential that we put them into perspective. Where possible we need to sort out the problems, but if we can’t, we simply MUST accept them. Acceptance might sound glib, but the very act of acceptance will reduce frustration.
So what is the Secret of Happiness?

The following are six things that I consider we need to do in order to be happy.

The Secret of Happiness – Be constructive with your life. This might take the form of a job, local charity work, voluntary work, anything that is of sufficient consequence that you feel you are creating value. Creativity is one of the finest ways to feel worthy.
The Secret of Happiness – Attain fitness – physical fitness helps the mind to relax – and you will feel happier knowing you are doing it. Fitness is a comparative thing. I certainly aren‘t advocating you run a marathon, but you might aim for an agile body that is approximately the right weight.
The Secret of Happiness – Develop contacts. Friends can make a huge difference to your frame of mind. In general we humans are a gregarious lot, and having the right friends can really help us be happy.
The Secret of Happiness – Realise that sufficient money is enough. More than enough will not increase your chance of happiness. Continually striving for more, only increases stress levels, which makes you less happy. Material possessions do not equate to happiness.
The Secret of Happiness – Strive for safety. We need to feel physically safe to be happy. Unless you have good reason to do otherwise, you should excuse yourself from situations that put you at risk.
The Secret of Happiness – Feel good about what you already have and about yourself. You should spend time building your self-esteem. Make a list of all the good things in your life – be glad of them.

It is sad that many people think that happiness will magically happen at some point in the future. I’m sorry folks, but for most of us Harry Potter does not exist, there is no magic wand. Whilst it is certainly important to make plans to secure your future, it should not be at the expense of the present. The future is uncertain and it would be dreadful to face the end of your life with the knowledge that you waited too long for happiness. You should act now.
How to be Happy – Your Responsibility.
Don’t lose sight of the fact that you are responsible for your own happiness. You can’t blame others if you aren’t happy. You should never expect other people to provide you with happiness. Just imagine the burden of someone charging you with their happiness….
One of the problems with emotional states is that we become used to them. You may be happy without even realising it. If you are happy already, enjoy it – stop searching.

Becoming Happier and Less Stressed

While many people report that they do feel fairly happy overall, almost everyone reports wanting to have greater happiness and lower levels of stress. Well, it turns out there are lots of things we can do to feel happier and better every single day! Read on to find out what you can do to become happier and less stressed– and stay that way.

Eight Empowering Happiness Habits

Exercise regularly. Pretty much every research study out there has found that regular exercise reduces stress and anxiety levels and leads to greater overall well-being and happiness. Interestingly, the positive effects of exercising can be seen both immediately and over time. In the short term, most individuals feel less stressed and more relaxed immediately after exercise. In the long term, after exercising regularly for 2-3 months, individuals have lower levels of depression and anxiety.
Eat the right foods. This means plenty of vegetables, whole grains, fruit, fish, and lean meat. Research has shown that, while people and animals who are stressed may temporarily crave sugar and fat, in the long term, these foods aren’t likely to make us feel better! Instead, the foods that help keep us calm and happy are those that are most nutritious, providing ample amounts of vitamins, minerals, and healthy fats. Avoid processed foods and opt instead for fresh, balanced meals.
Make sure you’re getting enough sleep. The average American sleeps less than seven hours a night, even though most people need at least seven or eight hours! Sleep deprivation can increase levels of stress and anxiety, making people less emotionally stable, more easily agitated, and less happy overall.
Be positive. Did you know that you can make yourself happier simply by being more positive? Both your thoughts and your words actually impact your mood and your experience of the world. Thinking positive thoughts puts you in a better mood, facilitating more positive events in your day and leading to more positive emotions and thoughts later in the day. Known as an “upward spiral,” this trajectory has profound consequences for our levels of happiness and well-being. So cultivate positive thoughts and emotions! Focus on what is positive and good and negate negative or defeatist thoughts and feelings.
Let negativity go. Don’t dwell on negative experiences, dark thoughts, or difficult events. While it may be tempting rehash that annoying argument you had at work today when you’re talking to your partner or your friend, resist the temptation!! Studies show that dwelling on negative experiences, whether by ruminating alone or venting to another, only makes people feel worse. It deepens the negative impact of the initial experience and allows the bad mood to permeate your thoughts and possibly those of the person you’re talking to. Sure, talk to a friend if you’re having a hard time. But don’t complain about something just for the sake of complaining.
Set the right goals. Did you know that people whose goals focus on inward self-improvement become happier over time than people whose goals are focused on exterior gains like making money? This is because focusing on exterior or material goals means getting caught up in the web of comparing oneself to others rather than practicing self-acceptance. By contrast, setting goals that focus on inward self-improvement leads to the kind of personal growth that fosters happiness.
Keep up friendships and build your social circles. Spending time with friends and family reduces stress and fosters a range of positive emotions, from love to acceptance to trust to joy. Both the positive emotions and the act of engaging with others contribute to happiness and well-being. Make new friends to bring novelty and excitement into your life, and hold onto old ones to foster deep and lasting social connections.
Get help when you need it. If you’re having a bad day, email a friend to say hello and try to take your mind off of what’s bothering you. If you need to talk to someone, make a phone call and ask for advice. If you’re experiencing depression, ask friends to recommend a therapist or counselor or visit your doctor. Don’t be afraid to tell others how you’re feeling or to ask for help when you need it! It is only by addressing the setbacks that life brings us that we can learn to live happier, healthier lives.

Source: lauriegough.com

How I Found my Passion…by Accident

I had been in the IT field for 22 years. I never finished college, and sort was directionless. Then at a company I was working for, I had an opportunity, to train, free, with them. For lack of anything else really, I felt I had to take advantage of it in order to do something. So I did, and absolutely detested every last minute of it.

Then finally about a year and a half ago, it began sucking the very life out of me and I did something really risky and radical. I had no savings, nothing to my name, I quit my job and registered for school, full time to become a Licenced Massage Therapist. I had always been really in to holism, and I figured it was only two years, and was sure that I would love it. I decided to use my 401k to survive on. (I know, I know.) I was ecstatic.

Then school started. It was kind of fun, but that fun, enjoyable feeling quickly wore off. It’s actually incredibly hard. Courses that aspiring Dr’s have to take, massage therapists are required to take, and yet don’t even make 1/4 of the salary that Dr’s do. It was incredibly strfessfull, always thinking about tomorrow’s test (which was usually the case). And yet I wondered why, if I was supposed to be passionate about it, suppose to love it…then why couldn’t I endure the work. Why couldn’t I just deal with the stress, and just get all the studying done if I loved it? …Or was suppose to. Well despite it all, I was 3 out of a total of 6 semesters in to it, and couldn’t very well quit now. I had to complete it. Even though I ended up hating it, I couldn’t turn back now. And then I wondered where my passion was. Did I even have any? Was I completely void of a passion? I ended up feeling very empty and passionless.

At around that time I had almost run out of money. Which was stressing me out even more, on top of all else. I began frantically looking for work during my last semester. Then something bazarre happened. Around the end of my third semester I had a TIA (mini, mild stroke). Fortunately I’m fine, no motor skill problems. It affected my speech a bit, but, I’m perfectly understandable. One symptom I do have, however is overwhelming exhaustion. A common post TIA symptom. So technically accordning to Dr’s,and on my medical record, I can’t work or attend school, and I can see why.

Anyway, I still had no income and no money left. I had to apply for disability. It takes close to six months to get. I didn’t have that amount of time. I had no choice but to take a job in B2B phone sales. I honestly loved my boss, and everyone there. But I found something, that would otherwise have so easy, extremely exhausting to the point of not being able to see straight while driving home. Not to mention that the base salary in sales is nothing. You make much of it off of commission. Of which I was making close to none. But the paltry salary, at least was able to help me hang on while my savings dwindled. I felt so exhausted that I couldn’t do anything in my free time except sleep. Not much quality of life. Then, finally, in the beginning of December, 2011, I was approved for disability, and got my first payment. My boss knew everything, he also knew that I could only make a few hundred a month otherwise they’d take my disability payment away. And my disability payment was more than twice what I was making in my sales job, so ultimately I had to resign.

Now, my disability payment doesn’t even pay all of my bills, and I stand to lose everything I have. But you know what? Through this all, somewhat accidentally, I think I may have found my passion. Writing! Sure, I’m making no money, am not terribly good, or maybe I’m average. But I love it. And Even if I am only able to do it as a Hobie, it’s a healthy passion that I really love. It’s a way to express myself, kind of fearlessly. I think for many of us it’s a way to express ourselves in ways we might not otherwise, out loud. It’s interactive, creative, can be cathartic. It’s great!

Do I dare say, there’s a reason for everything? Maybe in some weird, convoluted way…..

Finding Your Element: How to Discover Your Talents and Passions and Transform Your Life
Amazon Price: $13.93
List Price: $27.95
The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything
Amazon Price: $6.54
List Price: $16.00
The Path to Purpose: How Young People Find Their Calling in Life
Amazon Price: $2.98
List Price: $15.99
Chazown: Define Your Vision. Pursue Your Passion. Live Your Life on Purpose.
Amazon Price: $6.75
List Price: $14.99

My life to this point has always been about doing what is expected of me. Unfortunately, even in this path I have not succeeded. I dropped out of school, I bailed on a job that my Father secured for me when I was late in my teens, and the only job that made him somewhat proud of me was a dead end career in the towing industry that paid the same now as it did five years ago. So I made a decision two weeks ago. It was to quit my dead end job as a tow truck driver and pursue a trade. Apprentice electrician. Hey, I like electricity, and I enjoy the process of getting the power from the plant to my coffee maker I can hardly afford. But, unfortunately, I don’t feel right doing it. I feel like I do not belong. Many say this is because it is new, and eventually I’ll fall into it and make a niche for myself. But deep inside, I don’t feel I will. Sure, I may learn it well, and even excel. But, right now it does not feel that way. Friday, I sat down at a new site I’ve never been to, don’t know who to talk to, and have all these tradespeople running around doing their own thing. I finally foud the general contractor and he puts me through orientation. There’s talk about fall protection and using various pieces of equipment, and I wasn’t entirely sure I even know what pieces of equipment he was referring to. After the orientation, I wandered around looking for my foreman, whom I’ve met once before but couldn’t recall what he looked like, and became almost incapacitated by the awkwardness and the unfamiliarity with the situation. Through the whole ordeal I thought to myself, “I don’t belong here”.

So where do I belong. Perhaps this article is written to be completely self serving, or perhaps many have been through this. But this isn’t where I want to be. The thought of being a journeyman electrician only appeals to me because it would make the people around me proud. Well, maybe not proud, but they’d accept me as a man. They would not think of me as a boy. Is this what I want? I am not sure. When people ask me what I want to do, I think back to the scene in office space where Peter realizes that, if he had one the lottery, he would do absolutely nothing all day, I identified with that. Obviously, I don’t want to be a couch potato. What I want to be is in control of my day, in control of my life. I get up and do what I want when I want to. I am the master of my life. But then the power shuts off, and my car gets repossessed. So the sad fact of our existence is that we have to work in order to maintain a certain level of happiness, to maintain the things we like and live in society. I do like it here. So why can I not do something that I have a natural talent for? Well, to do this requires school. Therein lies the rub. I am no good at school, I could never pay attention, and every time I would have to write notes, my eyes would water and I would yawn profusely. I don’t know why I did that, but I think it was because I didn’t enjoy it, and my body wanted me to know it. This is why school never worked out. So now, to do the things I want, I require college, or some form of post secondary. I am unable to do it. I can’t do school.

So, where does that leave me? An uneducated, apprentice electrician, whose day is filled with awkwardness and the feeling of being very much alone. What can I do to escape this? This is the unanswered question that Ive spent my life trying to answer. I don’t want anyone disappointed with me, but I don’t want undue stress in my life associated with a job I don’t like, or want. Many people say that you only have so many years on this planet, and I should spend them doing the things I want. I agree with this, I just have no idea how to do it. Do I live on the street? Do I live in the wilderness, hunting rabbits for food? This isn’t what I want either. So, I thought about it. Maybe I can write. Maybe I can share my experiences and thoughts and feelings with the outside world. But people don’t like hearing other people complain about life problems. Everybody has them. What I need to do is intrigue them. What can I do in my life that I can write about to intrigue the masses, and to convince somebody to pay me for it? I am a storm chaser, but thats only in the summer months, and I live in Alberta where people don’t really pay attention. Do I travel? Could I be a travel writer like every other writer wants to be? Sure I could, but the competition has a college degree and I have grade 9 english (Which to the best of my recollection, I failed). How do I break free from the constraints I have put on myself?

By now you may have realized this may not be the guide to a happy life, exactly. I write this on a sunday, and tomorrow its week 3 at the stress factory, where I have yet another orientation. I either need to escape from it, or do nothing. This decision must be made now, or not made at all. 1 year after my death, my legacy will not count for anything, unless I invent something cool. But I probably won’t do that. So, if Im not worried about what I look like after my death, why should I be worried about what happens before it? A journey begins with a single step, but maybe its time to take that step. I’m not sure what my intent was when I first started typing these words, but maybe this could be the greatest key to unlocking the mystery of my life. Don’t do something you may regret, but the far worse choice is to not do anything at all.

Often times people connect money with how happy they are. This would lead a number of people to ask, “Is happiness connected with money?” This is a complicated issue and has many different sides.

Money = Happiness

The theory that money makes one happy is a theory that unhappy people who don’t have money often give out. They are hoping that they can blame their unhappiness on a lack of money and then there is a solution or at least a cause. This isn’t a true theory, but it does make for a good way to get on.

Happiness is much deeper then one’s pocket book.
On one hand there are happy people who don’t have money, on the other hand their are miserable people with lots of money.

Often we fail to look into ourselves and see why it is that we aren’t happy.

On the Other Hand

While it can be said that happiness isn’t connected to money, it is harder to be happy without money. If you don’t have a home or a place to sleep, if you don’t have food in your belly and you feel the groans that it makes, if you don’t have anything…it is harder to be happy then if you have a good place to live, good food to eat, and plenty of things to do.

Kids are proof…they are happy when they play, when they eat, and when they…They can be happy doing a lot of different things and they don’t feel the need to have money.

Find Happiness Within

If you are unhappy with your life right now then you need to search inside yourself for the reason why. Sure you could use more money, most people could. However, if you are believing that is the answer to your happiness then you will probably be disappointed when you get more money.

Tips

Actively figure out what you are thankful for. Think of all the little things that you have to be thankful for. Keep a list if you often forget.

Find things that are free that you enjoy doing. Be happy in those things.

Spend some time examining when you feel happy and when you don’t. What do you need to do to be happy?

Try to take time for you. This should be time that you relax and enjoy yourself. You will find that if you have you time, it will be easier to go through your whole day, and life.

It is easy to link money and happiness. After all with more money you would be able to buy more things, have more things to do, and so forth. However, as long as your basic needs (food, shelter, warmth) are met, then you can’t blame your lack of happiness on money. There are many people who struggle to pay their bills and get food in the house who are indeed happy. Be thankful for what you have and learn to think positively. You can be happy!