She loves Me?
Source: Photography by Cheech
Yes, you read it right!
After recently publishing Stress and Bi-Polar Disorder, it became abundantly clear to me today that I needed to write a sequel, because, well, to tell you the truth, I think my words may help some one else. In thinking that, it gives me therapy because I am in hopes that this will help someone else survive another day, as I know it will help me to survive this one.
The sun was bright,
and the day was warm with light clouds breezing across the azure blue sky.
Wait, sorry! That is not what I meant to say at all! I’m listening to music on my computer as I am writing this. Something from Mumford & Sons I believe. Oh man, computers are so cool! And I gotta say, Pandora’s Box was brought to us by angels in the IT heaven that surrounds us.
What I Meant To Say Was,
as I mentioned in my last article, I suggest you by pass Stress at every possible moment in your life whether you are Bi-Polar or not. Stress sucks. Literally.
Stress can suck the very life out of you, out of the beauty of the day, out of the love of life.
No, I am not suicidal, thanks for asking. I was, sort of, kinda. Guess that depends on how you look at it. Interested? Good cause if you aren’t going to read it than I have completely wasted my time, haven’t I.?.
So the sun was bright,
but this undoubtedly was a horrible day. And for one in particular, who knows me best, I think it has conceivably been even worse. So bare in mind as you read this, that someone else always has it worse, and in that, those words alone find at least a bit, a glimmer of positive to hold on to. Because in just that bit of positive may be the energy that will propel you on to the next hurdle life puts in front of you.
A brief Interruption to the point.
As I read this stuff back, and listen to the music playing, a thought has come into my Bi-Polar mind. Why hasn’t HP come up with some way for authors to publish audible Hubs? I mean maybe some folks would like to hear the voice of their favorite authors of HP! Maybe they are busy doing something and are unable to read, but could listen to their favorite Hubbers (who wish to) read aloud their own pieces. Or perhaps by making such a thing available, perhaps readership, (using that term loosely in regard to the present text) would increase amoung those who are unable to read the computer screen.
sometimes you can’t side step stress. Some times it ends up right there in your lap. Then what?
Well, let me tell you, (Once I figure that out.)
As mentioned in the first article, depression is something stress can trigger, and the main basis of this Hub.
For some, depression is a spiraling process that continues to a certain point, remains there a bit, and hopefully begins to lessen.
For many that is not the case. Depression for those is painful. Not only mentally, but physically as well.
Oh great, not only am I depressed but I feel like crap too?
Yup. Many do suffer physical pain along with depression, not to mention lack of appetite, (although for some who are depressed food is a pacifier. But that is another Hub) Some can’t sleep and write Hubs all night long. Oops, Strike that!
Oh, wait a minute. It’s okay to say that because, for me, this is my therapy. This is what gets me through days like these, and nights. But earlier, my thoughts were much darker. And though I don’t think I was actually a threat to myself, because if I were, I certainly would have called 1-800-784-2433, the National Crisis Number.
I won’t say that I didn’t briefly make up some what if’s as I drove home however. Like what if a deer jumped out in front of me and I just didn’t slam on the brakes. You know, stuff like that there.
Believe me, I have had a gun pulled from my hands. I know the difference. The only reason I am here to tell the story is because I forgot to lock the bedroom door back then. Well, that and some therapy from a decent doctor, and about five years of antidepresents, which was discovered to be the reason for my second attempt. (Well that and the fact that the fuse gave out before I did.)
Nope, none of that stuff for me tonite. Nope, instead depression hit me a bit differently tonite. The main reason for no sleep visited me as I dozed off around ten this evening. A face. One from a past. One from a different me. One on the field during combat. The face of a man who tried to hurt someone I was caring for. And I can leave it at that, for those who knew me then new me as doc, some as cheech, it is them who know me best, and of what I speak.
And so I sit here in therapy, to tell you my fellow humans, that there is no finer gift than that of life, and it is damnable to think we could or should ever cheat ourselves of it before it is done with us.
Wow, that sure was philosophical. What the hell was I thinking.
So, in a nutshell, (he he, get it? Nutshell?)
We are all, Bi-Polar or not, prone to thoughts that are less than healthy for ourselves at times. Studies show that at least three out of five folks have had some thought of harming themselves, no matter how fleeting the feeling may be. We as individuals need to try to keep in mind that there is never a good time to cause harm to our selves. (Especially because some of the things we come up with really hurt!)
Further, we each and everyone need to learn the signs that someone nearby, or in the family may have those thoughts, and how to and when to intervene.
The main thing to remember always is that you, me, I, we, are all susceptible to depression in our lives.
So, until the next time, peace, love and light.
Oh, and by all means,