Rambling Man

Rambling Man

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I’m singing … “I went throught the desert on a horse with no head, cause in the desert you don’t need a head , L a La La, La La La La.”

That is correct. In the desert you really don’t need a head, because then you have to give it water. And it’s so hot and dry there. it’s just common sense really.

Well, sometimes I like to ramble, especially after a couple of quarts of tequila. I always thought that after consuming so much Mexican tequila that I would be so much smarter. That it would increase my IQ by several points, but it doesn’t seem to work. You know, I thought that it would relax me, reducing my stress level, therefore increasing my level of education by several grades.

But nope, I don’t believe it worked. And as I write this I’m dowing a quart of Tierras Tequila Blanco, and it did make my brain go blanco for a minute. I awoke with my head banging on the floor. But my head has a mind of its own. But things of that nature are to be kbiidkmdwlk, expected. And that, my friends, is a word that I just made up, look for it in a dictionary near you.

Boy it’s hot in here, I should probably put that fire out. But I am lazy and it’s quite a lot of effort to dial 911.

Saw this commercial on TV this morming with a vehicle that they were advertising driving down the road. Now, it wasn’t speeding, wasn’t doing any tricks or erratic driving. It was just, you know, driving. BUT, that right, all capitals, BUT there was a disclamor on the bottom of the screen that said, “Closed course, professional driver, DO NOT ATTEMPT.” Do not attempt what? Do not attempt to drive the vehicle? Park in driveway only?

I’m going to rush right out and buy one of those. “For goodness sake don’t touch it, it’ll self-destruct!” Do they realize what they’re putting in those commercials? Writer had a little too much tequila I think.

And we musn’t forget President Bush’s words: “I did not have sex with that woman, Moniker Lewinsnot. Damn it, this is not my speech! So did I have sex with her? I’ve got my finger on the boom, ha, ha, and you don’t. Now where did I leave my gun? Was it in that kindergarden or that place with all the potatoes?”

Funny how those politicians won’t vote to have rich people taxed a little more. Oh wait, since all those politicians are rich, they would actually be taxing themselves! So what if the country just might be heading off a cliff. But all in favor of a raise and then all the hands go up.

In the United States they have the Price is Right. And it goes something like this. “Come on down and win a NEW CAR!” Applause. Music. A couple of toots of flatulence from the audience.

In Canada it’s the Price is Left. “Come on down and win a NEW CAR … TIRE. Made in 1942 this car tire is made of genuine rubber.” Someone puke’s in the audience.

“Win seven nights in Cuba”

“You get to walk to Cuba where you’ll spend seven nights on the beach digging for clams.” Yeah!

Oh, and I’ve written a novel about a serial killer that’s sprinkled with humor. YOU can read the first 3 and a half chapters for FREE. The PRICE IS RIGHT.

Madman in the Mirror

What happens when a serial killer raises his child to be just like him?

Henry was brought up from an infant to be a serial killer just like his old man, but years later as he discovered that he perhaps wanted to turn away from the dark and into the light, it had become a complicated thing for a shattered mind.

Amazon.com: Madman in the Mirror eBook: Albert Gallant: Kindle Store
Amazon.com: Madman in the Mirror eBook: Albert Gallant: Kindle Store
My novel is available on Amazon ebook … Barnes and noble ebooks …. Ibooks …

Madman in the Mirror

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